HOW TO FLY

First of all, let me tell you about my day, because you can never know how a day will turn out when you first wake. I didn't know, I didn't know or even care that I was going to fly.

I woke up as usual and remembered my dreams.
I went about my day:
check messages, wash with new test formula products from the 9th package,
cook & eat & read,
and then ride the bike to work for TNT Tech.

I am hours late.
The latest yet and my boss does not care, he says, "one of these days you'll show up at night"

I draw up plans: three new machines for the Brazilians.

A metal detector under the conveyor belt
A huge static electric plastic separator
And a Control module for bulk metal separator

My boss tells me about a new business associate who bought a building across from his office just to have a bigger landing pad for his helicopter.

My co worker talked about the times when the US government was Nuke testing in Nevada.
Not long after the bomb went off, they'd march the soldiers into ground zero.
They'd salute and march back out.

My other co-worker never talks. She is maybe 35 and a hunchback, seriously.
She's pretty though.
I think my boss is haveing an affair with her.

I made too many mistakes in the figures today and my boss is clearly annoyed.
I had no time to save grace because I had a date to go to a boxing match. I have never been to see a boxing match and so I'm super duper excited.

We meet at Demon Dog, a hotdog stand with supurb french fries
(by the way, I am a conisuer of french fries like some people are of wine)
We then go to the ring
Cheepest seats in the house at $10 a pop.
If I had worn my glasses I would have been able to see the blood on the fighters face.
We sat through four fights.
The first was my favorite because it was the most raw.
The man who lost was severely humiliated.
He was bloody and swollen by the end of the fight. He seemed embarrassed.
The man who won was lightening quick and hard driven, he fought like he'd bar brawl if he couldn't get in the ring. The crowd hated him and as he was leaving, a huge paisty looking white trash long hair jumped him and started pummelling him some more. Security quickly broke it up.
NO FIGHTING OUTSIDE THE RING!
The rules of the game.
I swear my IQ took a severe nose dive just from the company I kept (not my date, but the rest of the militia looking dudes)
I do not think I will be going to more boxing matches in the future because I was a little bored and embarrassed. I was embarrassed and disgusted by the way the boxers kepts colapsing onto each other in the middle of punching, as if to catch their breath. I was most embarassed by the ring girls.
2 Leathery ladies, Skin and bones in long red satin gowns, circling the ring with the round numbers, shaking "it", In competition for the most hoots and hollers.
I rode my bike home dejected.
Humans sure are a wierd lot. It makes me wonder why I spend my whole life on my computer when I could be doing all sorts of other things like competeing with Houdini's record setting or testing new shark cages. I could be really living to the fullest adrenaline kick, every minute of the day instead of being so sedate. But I hardly ever go out. I have a real hard time out there. When I go outside I become a jelous maniac. I'm jelous of big bottoms. I stare at the big bottoms and sigh out loud. Black girls usually have the best big bottoms. I thought about getting implants today because despair really welled when I was walking behind one of those big bottom girls. I am just withering away on my computer. My bottom is tiny, I can see it in the mirror. Even as I write this, my bottom is shrinking. Triple Damn! I have to go do some butt excersizes, though I don't know who I'm trying to impress. It's pretty pointless I guess.

Maybe I'll go see if I can fly by jumping off the roof and flapping my arms.
Oh will the excitement never end